Taming the Mama Bear

From the moment you hear your newborns first cry, feel their soft velvety skin, and breathe in their heavenly smell, those synapses are forming. Most definitely by the time the hundredth kiss is lovingly given (on day 1) you know- you will protect this child. You will die for them. You want to give them what they need. You want them to have the best possible life they can. Heavenly Father knew you could be the right mommy for one of His Spirits. You are blessed.

As they grow, it can be difficult to loosen that protective grasp you have on them. When I began to take Emma to playgrounds as a toddler I watched her like a hawk, ready to swoop in and rescue her if I saw she was being hurt by another child. I dreaded taking her to Nursery at church because she cried and cried and I didn't want her to feel abandoned. Those are things every mom has to deal with and after having 4 kids, I've learned to take most things in stride. Inevitably, as they grow up, others will not always see just how special they are. They have to learn to face hard circumstances and grow from them on their own (much easier said than done, at least for me).

This brings me to my reason for the post. I have 1 child that tends to bring out my inner "mama bear". Here are a few 'for instances':

I've mentioned Eli has school struggles. This has resulted in many parent-teacher confer-sations. They are not the glowing reports that the girls usually get. It is not fun and I have to repeat over and over in my mind "You need her to like you, don't yell at her, she cares about him too..." and so forth.

I had an older lady stomp toward me angrily at a splash pad a couple years back demanding that I make my son apologize for knocking her grand-daughter over on purpose. I hadn't seen the incident but I did bring him to apologize which he did through tears. The lady then immediately began to praise my mothering skills (for fulfilling her demands) at which point I told her she needed to watch herself and that she had no right to approach me the way she did. The kids talked about the incident the whole way home calling her "the bad grandma".

Well recently Eli's started baseball for the first time. He's been so excited about it. I coerced Dana into being the teams assistant coach for Eli's sake. It's been stressful for Dana and I feel kind of guilty about it but secretly I'm really happy he's there. I keep telling him- "You can do anything for 6 weeks." (This is the same logic I use with myself at the end of my work-outs so I know it works pretty well). I took him to his first game last week (Dana was on his way from work) and sent Eli into the dugout while I stayed outside to watch. We were the first to arrive so the coach began throwing the ball with Eli. Eli's really been working on his throwing and catching and hitting. Soon I started hearing things like "Come on! Let's see you throw!" "No, no, no catch like this!" You get the point. "Sheez, 'coach Brian', where's the praise?" I thought, and I began feeling my body pulled toward the fence. But then I caught a glimpse of Eli's face and he seemed completely fine. So I stepped back and looked on. And he began to do better.

And even though I was heart-broken that game because Eli struck out twice, he hit a line drive on the second game. And nothing could beat his face when he told me about it through the world's biggest smile.

So even though I know continuing to loosen my grasp over the coming years is going to be very hard, I pray that as I do, the kids will all have times when they grow while mommy left them up at bat...all by themselves.

Of all the motherhood quotes I've ever heard, the one that comes to mind most often is "A mother's role is to be left." When I first heard it, it sounded sad and lonely. But when I thought about it, it rang true. We want our kids to grow up, make great choices and have their own lives. That is the true success of a mother! And that's Heavenly Father's plan for His Spirits we are so privileged to love and protect and also let go of.